relationship-breakup-blog

The Secret Of Happiness Is Bonding

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 16:30:25 +0100

by Masami Sato

What is the reason for our remaining alive? For what have we come here? Day after day we are being asked about the sense and purpose of our lives. And many of us keep on searching for answers. Will we be able to achieve happiness? That is also a question that forces us every day to find out its answer. What happens if the answer to those queries is quite uncomplicated? What if it is all about ONE thing? Bonding. The secret of happiness is explained perfectly in the stimulating voice of Masami Sato in the excerpt of her book, ONE.

What are we looking for?

There are a host of things that we do in our lives.

Still, have we ever considered why we do what we are doing? What in fact are we searching for?

The world throngs with millions of people of all races, religions, and belief systems, doing myriad things. People look different from each other and behave differently. We have widely varying interests and outlook on life. We communicate in different ways, because we use different languages. We have different hopes and emotions.

However, if we were to say there is just ONE thing we are ALL looking for, what would it be?

As I travelled around the world, I often asked people a simple question, "What would you like to achieve in your life? What do you really want?"

At first, it looked as if people were in search of different things, as they gave casual answers like "A nice partner", "Good job", "My own house", "A loving family", "A perfect mate", "More money", "Financial Freedom", "Peace of mind", or "Meaning of life". There were other similar answers as well.

I did notice that some of these requirements were of a more earthly nature while others were of a permanent nature. Earthly desires are those that we want because we do not yet have it, or think that we do not yet have it. As against this, permanent desires are not about getting things we do not have. It is about a 'feeling' that we yearn for, so that it does not come to an end, whatever we get or accomplish at every moment or our lives.

If we take off the temporal desires from the list and look only at the permanent desires, it is clear that all we want is to continue experiencing positive feelings like exhilaration, enjoyment, encouragement, motivation, kindness, love, happiness etc. - in another way, we want to remain happy.

Contentment

Happiness is one state of emotion that we are all longing to be in. We all may define it differently. We may value it differently. We may experience it at different levels of intensity. But we surely have something in common when happiness comes to us. And when we discover this secret about happiness, we hold the power to be happier, and to make others around us experience the same feeling too.

Life is a mystery we are all living in. We all may love it in our own special ways. We may despise it in different ways. We may question it. We may treasure it. Or we may just have it, accept it, indifferently. But what is the purpose of our lives? What if the secret of our existence is so near? What if the secret actually brings us happiness and contentment when we discover it?

What if the essence of the aim of our lives, and its joys, is as simple as this:

It is all about relationship.

Bonding is everything

Everything is about making relationships. Everything is part of something else. Just a look at our own lives would reveal it to us. Then we will understand the real purpose of our lives.

Why do we do anything, ANYTHING at all, in life as humans?

It is simply because we want to connect more and more. We make friends to feel connected. We get married to connect with someone more deeply and more permanently. We create a family to feel even more connected. We go out to meet more people to connect with, not only to get practical benefits from those connections, but also to feel more connected to the world.

We buy nice clothes and go to a hairdresser to feel more connected to our sense of aesthetics and to our own physical beauty. We eat a variety of food to feel more connected to our sense of taste and smell. We dine out to feel connected to the people we share the meals with. We buy mobile phones and computers to connect with others and the world. We read newspapers and magazines to stay connected to what is happening and what others are doing and feeling. We study and learn to connect with what others know and value.

Every single thing we do is to satisfy the need for connection. If we're not connected to our own body, we don't even have to eat and sleep. Our connection to all our senses tells us to do something to satisfy the demand of the body. We feel pain and discomfort if we ignore the signals of our own body. And beyond our basic needs, we seek a greater sense of connection - connection to our existence - connection to our purpose. And without that connection, it's empty. Just like the emptiness many of us feel inside when we're not even connected to ourselves. That simply cannot be the natural way we're designed to live our lives.

Relationship is powerful, and yet it's fragile and tender..

When we can't feel the sense of connection in a relationship, we go for separation, divorce, arguments, judgment and resentment. It never feels good to feel disconnected. But we could even feel in love with someone one day and feel totally remote and resentful toward that same person the next day. The feeling can change just by a flick of a finger. And it could be your finger or theirs!

When the relationship is not there.

When the relationship is not there, we start seeing problems. We start seeing differences and hindrances. We start sitting upon judgement of others and disapproving them. We exaggerate, concentrate upon, and give energy to such things that we see as problems. Under such a scenario, these problems might turn inwards and inflict pain and disapproval on ourselves. We cannot be fully happy when we have no associations with anything.

Bonding: the Secret to Happiness

What if we choose to perceive the entire thing in reverse? When we do that we understand this simple truth: we cannot feel despondent when we are in a strong relationship. It is simply not possible!

Try to feel unhappy when we're feeling connected to the people around us and laughing and sharing wholeheartedly together. Even when we have so-called 'problems' in life, we can still laugh together and feel happy and positive when we are feeling connected. At the same time, it is very difficult to enjoy anything if we're not feeling connected.

Relationship: Our Life .

Bonding is the core of all things. That is what life is about. Bonding.

Everything is a unified whole of smaller units. Everything combines together to form a bigger unit; the way our bodies are a fusion of smaller entities like atoms, molecules, cells and organs.

Our acts and options also is an expression of the need for a relationship. We are meant to continuously find out ways to relate to each other and to a higher objective.

Connection and Religion

Some of us have opted to become a part of different religious systems to feel better related to each other. The relationship that we yearn to build could be to God. It could be to those who share the same belief system. When there is the sharing of a similar conviction, there is a stronger relationship within that group. More bestowing on each other takes place among people who feel related to each other.

Bonding and Business

People start a business to feel a stronger relationship to themselves by having better mastery over their destiny. But quite often in the world of entrepreneurship, there is a greater sense of isolation especially when we start seeing other enterprises as rivals, staff as devices and customers as a source of income. With all that, the main reason for getting into the business was to establish a relationship. So why should we cause any secluding at all? Maybe in an ideal world, all enterprises worked in another way, but jointly.

Bonding and Wars

Some of us even create arguments or wars to experience some sense of 'victory' or supposedly a greater sense of security and significance. But ironically, this rebounds. The moment we 'win' the battle, we are actually more disconnected from others. We now need more security to protect ourselves from being attacked by others. We somehow end up being more insecure and afraid. We can't laugh at this because it actually happens to almost every one of us in different ways.

It may be the arguments we have with people around us. It may be the negative judgement we make when we feel something or someone is wrong. When we try to be the only one to win, we can never win in the real way-we feel disconnected. We can only truly celebrate the victory with others when we win together. Then we feel connected.

No matter how differently we express our needs, everything we do is to fulfil the mere desire we have to feel and be connected.

The real sense of connection comes only through our heart. We can connect with anybody when we are truly caring for them and feeling connected with them. If we know this, creating the desired state is actually simple, easy and fun. Then we would naturally experience more happiness and joy.

Life is a sport. We feel things and do things in a grand game but in reality the aim of any game is the pleasure we get out of it. It is not about doing something or having something. When the sports finally end, the winners are only the ones who have derived pleasure from the game. Not the ones who had more at the final tally. The upshots and end results of the sports in which we participate do not affect our actual life. But if we lost all our friends to participate in a game just because we wanted to win in that round, would it lead us to a lasting victory?

It is easy to make out this in the background of competing in sports, but we often do not realize it in the sports and games of real life. We forget so fast that life is also a form of sports.

Even if we don't know when this game actually started and when it would end, we know that it somehow started in the past and it will end someday. When we close the lid of the game box eventually one day, can we simply say, "Wow, it was so much fun. Let's play again!"

In the sports of life, the aim of the game is to establish a relationship. We can keep connecting until we all unite to become one. It is the one way to constantly feel the relationship to our objective - the feeling of pleasure and delight. We cannot feel detached from the relationship to anything or refuse and conclude even one thing if we are to achieve a lasting relationship.

Life is as easy as that. There is only ONE secret.

And the secret is to connect.

To become ONE.

To find pleasure.

About the Author:

Discover more about how Buy1GIVE1 (BOGO) can transform your business using Cause Marketing.

How To Get Forgiveness After Cheating On Your Wife

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 16:27:43 +0100

by T Dub Jackson

Can you still be forgiven by your wife after cheating on her? There's no easy way out from this. Cheating is like a disease that once it affects a relationship, the doom or the end of it will come easy if not treated right away. Cheating is a no-ordinary sin, so the amendments you need to do in order to get your wife's trust must also be equally heavy.

Here are a few things not to do when you're trying to get your wife to take you back after you've been caught cheating on her.

Don't tell her it meant nothing. Whether it did or not is immaterial. To your wife it means everything. Men and women often see sex in a different light. For women sex is a symbol of love and devotion. For some men it is a symbol of attraction and (perhaps) affection. To say that it meant nothing to your wife will really rub your wife the wrong way and not put her in the right frame of mind to forgive you.

Prepare to spend a little time in the doghouse. Even if she doesn't kick you out of the house without a single question asked you should plan to be spending quite a few nights on the couch or in a spare bedroom. This is not something that will just go away. It also isn't anything she's going to forgive easily or willingly. You're going to have to pay a little penance before all is forgiven. This is just the start.

Talk things over before it comes to its worse. Don't just let the issue die down by itself; it won't. It will always be there shaking off your marriage until such time that the both of you will just give up. Try to talk it out with your wife; tell her of the things she needs to know and leave out the things she would never want to hear. Although she will ask you to tell her everything, it doesn't mean she's ready for your story on how the sexual affair was for you. This will just kill her.

Ask her how she feels and listen to the answer. No matter how painful it is for you to hear it's important for you to know. It's even more important that she knows you know. The next thing you need to ask is where she thinks you should go from here. Chances are that she's not ready to call it quits just yet. She might be thinking about it as a kneejerk reaction but you should have a little time to work on making things right before she decides to say goodbye. If you ask her what she's thinking and what she wants to happen next you'll be giving her some of the control she feels was taken away when you cheated.

About the Author:

If she's already left or you're trying to work your way into her good graces and off your couch you might need a little help figuring out how to win your wife back for good. If you don't know where to begin, step one from this free video: http://www.magicofmakingup.com is the best place for you to get started. Watch it today and see if it doesn't change your entire approach for the better.

Cute Love Quotes Will Convey A Million Emotions With Just A Single Sentence

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 16:26:30 +0100

by Ann B. Rist

Cute love quotes are great to communicate how you feel to the people you love. These love quotes can communicate to someone in one sentence what the essence of their heart is feeling in their soul. Rarely have cute love quotes been unwanted in a situation.

A one liner love quote from one newly married spouse to another will brighten and make the day of the other. Don't go on and on, instead, take one line and use it to your advantage. Just one line is way better than the alternative.

How would your spouse feel if you gave them a card that said, "If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one so I never have to live a day without you."? See, in just that single sentence a millions feelings are conveyed.

Cute love quotes are not forced to be just romantic. Love defies way beyond romance, and many people stop there. But what about family and best friends? Thing about how a father and a mother loves their child, isn't that love at a deeper level? Words will do all they can to relay how one feels, though it may fall short, at least it's an attempt.

Think of the unparalleled love a parent has for a child. Love is actionable. The weight of it can do nothing but affect the way we live and feel. "Where there is love, there is life" captures the essence of it. This quote is great because it trys to convey the weight of love and what it does to our life.

Many situations in life, however, are suitable for cute love quotes. Of course, they are used well on anniversaries, engagements, Valentines Day, and birthdays. You will be hard pressed to meet someone that in their deepest of hearts does not want to be loved. Even more so, an unexpected cute love quote will go a long ways with someone.

Think about all the cards and notes you receive when you weren't expecting it that changed your day. These are the special moments that weigh heavily one someone's heart. Imagine what it will do to someone's day when they get that card unexpectedly, open it up, and read inside: "If I know what love is, it's because of you." - 36006

About the Author:

Express yourself with cute love quotes and other famous chelsea handler quotes

Don't Be The Last One to Arrive On Your Wedding

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:11:40 +0100

by George Moulakis

I find it odd if the bride or the groom runs late for their wedding. Well, it happens each and every time in the movies so then why not in real life, right? Running late just gives suspense to either the bride or even the groom, waiting for their particular partner to show up anytime soon for their wedding. Not forgetting the thrill and excitement which the people attending usually are deriving from this diva-like attitude. It may possibly either make each one relieved after the late one arrives, or each one fumes in anger for making them nervous that she or he isn't showing up. Runaway bride, somebody? Sorry but it is no longer going to work. You should be there on time by hook or by crook.

Several men blame being late on being so drunk the night before because of stag parties and such. A number blame it on the truth that they weren't capable of sleeping at all and just before the sun rises, they were able to get some sleep but then they fall a sleep longer longer than they really should. Several individuals blame it on defective bridal cars or the chauffer got sick and so a substitute had to be found first. Another normal reason for girls being tardy for the wedding is their cosmetics.

They just can't decide on what make up to wear. That is what the make up artist is there for. It's their problem and that is what they are getting paid a big amount for so trust them. Doing the hair is another. You need to get a hairstylist who knows how to set up hair promptly and when we say hair, we are not referring to ponytails and pullbacks. We are talking about huge, curly hair flowing out of the tiara and what have you. Better seek advice from websites for the hairdo you'd want for the wedding a minimum of months before so that you could still check out and search hairstylists who will do that for you.

For the males, get your ties, bows, suits, belts, cufflinks, shoes along with other paraphernalia ready for the special day. Lay them on the bed where you could see each item. Just similar to how the girls lay all their stuff on the bed to make it easier for them to find if everything's they need is there (and for photo shoot reasons as well). Another thing to check is the bridal car. You do not want the car to break down just when you're already halfway to the church, right? Unless you desire a dramatic entrance, running to the wedding ceremony by foot and looking like a sweat sock on your wedding day.

The cake should also be ordered in advance as you would still incorporate the design with the way you want it to look and taste. If you're having a reception, plan on the menu in advance. Play safe. Don't bring in too much seafood and nuts as some people would be allergic to them. If you want to go a little exotic, you better plan for the menu and make sure they're edible and safe to eat. You don't want your wedding reception to become a mass grave.

Anyways, look out for gate crashers. You can't miss them if you take care of everything in advance and if you're not late on your wedding day to see everyone come and witness your special day. - 36006

About the Author:

Expert in fashion and men's silk ties. If you'd like to know more about our products, please visit our men's neckties and our wonderful bow ties.

Dating Again - Where Should You Get Started?

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 16:31:32 +0100

by T Dub Jackson

We can't help but feel lanky every time our supposed-to-be strong relationships go down the drain. As always, it makes a person miserable and the worse, lose confidence on himself and in love. That is why going out on a date sometime after a breakup is recommended in order for the feelings to be diverted into a new and refreshing atmosphere.

The discourse on it is that how and where to begin dating again. Absence from the dating arena for a while somehow makes dating again complicating . It's always recommended to heal a broken heart after the breakup, but be sure not to be so drowned in it or you're out of the game.

Where should you start? Being away from the dating game is a serious challenge but it's already there. We can't turn back the time. The best way to get things started is by checking yourself in the mirror and analyze whether you like what you see or not. The best thing to do in case you are not comfortable with what you see and feel? C-H-A-N-G-E. Improve your looks, improve your personality. Perfection is not what is being asked here; it's being you being liked by yourself.

Learning to like the person in the mirror will not only help you prepare physically for getting back into the dating game but also to prepare mentally for dating again. You're probably nervous about "putting yourself out there" all over again. It's perfectly natural. No one wants to feel or be rejected. On the other hand no one really wants to be alone for the rest of his or her life either.

The mental preparations are also important. If you need to sit down and write a list about all the great things about you, it's time to get that done.

Appreciate your own account before someone else approves of it. Are there interesting things about you that nobody has ever found out yet? Learn to accept your own ability and everything will just follow. Exude that valuable gift of yours. Do not be afraid to who it off or it will just die down before you know it.

Once you've prepared mentally and physically for dating it's time to get out there and find someone to date. There are all kinds of places to find dates. If you're not ready to start making the first move, Internet dating sites, and speed dating services in your community might be a great first step in the right direction. Now is your time to get out there and really shine.

About the Author:

Have you discovered that deep down inside the one thing you really want is to get your lover back? It's not all that uncommon and while you might think it's a lost cause, I can help you get your man back fast. You need to do your part though by starting with these simple to follow instructions: http://www.getyourexbacknow.com/just_break_up3.html.

When To Contact A Private Investigator

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 16:29:39 +0100

by Janneth Parker

You distrust your spouse's fidelity. You are wondering what to do. First of all, do not quarrel with your spouse. Questioning him/her will only cause them to clean up their acts and make catching them even more difficult. The advisable and most logical thing to do would be to look for the assistance of professionals - call a private investigator.

According to private investigators, most cheating spouses come into two categories: one involves a married individual who is dating someone behind his/her spouse's back and the another category involves two separate married individuals who are both having affairs with one another. Private investigators further say that the pattern during the course of these affairs, is that they cheaters rendezvous during their work days. The private investigators further say that commonly, the cheaters live within the same area, allowing them to continue out their affair without being too visible.

Private investigators have compiled telltale signs that most cheaters oftentimes exhibit:

1. Your spouse has been spending a lot of time lately working out or improving their appearance.

2. Your spouse appears to be more cold and inconsiderate.

3. You start receiving a lot of wrong number calls at home.

4. Your spouse is dropping a lot of time on the phone away from you out of ear-shot.

If any of these sound familiar to you, then maybe it is perfect time you call a private investigator. A private investigator can help you uncover the truth. You should be attuned to your spouse's shifts in behavior. Private investigators also say that often times these cheaters blame their cheating on their spouses. But this is not the case. To relieve that heavy feeling of doubt off your chest, call a private investigator. If you do not know any private investigator within the area, look through websites. Surely, you will get a list of private investigators who can help you out.

About the Author:

Uncover if you have a Cheating Spouse with the assistance of a Private Investigator.

Am I Capable Of Guessing If My Spouse Is Cheating?

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 16:28:29 +0100

by Gilbert Jackson

Wrongly accusing your spouse of having an extramarital affair could break your relationship and eventually completely lead to its collapse. Before throwing charges to your spouse, you have to make sure that you have a strong basis. As we all know, one of the core foundation of relationships is trust. Once trust is taken away, no matter how strong you have started with your relationship, it cannot endure time. Thus when it comes to this subject couples need to be very extra careful.

If you really desire to check out if your spouse is cheating on you, the most critical step you need to do is to check yourself first. According to Ruth Houston, founder of InfidelityAdvice.com and the author of "Is He Cheating on You?- 829 Telltale Signs." There are particular points you can look at to examine if you are capable of judging if your spouse is really cheating on you. If you are the type of person who has the following personality your suspicions may turn out to be groundless:

* You are suspicious by nature * You have a natural distrust of the opposite sex * You have issues with jealousy * You are emotionally insecure * You suffer from low-self esteem * You are paranoid * You have an too active imagination

According to Houston if any of the statements above apply to you, it is unlikely for you to stay fair enough and properly assess the hints you find. For instances like this, it is best to hire a private investigator to lookout on your mate and gather as many facts as he can.

In selecting a private investigator, you have to engage one who is certified. As your aim is to get just and unbiased investigation, see to it that the private investigator you are dealing with has a good track record.

About the Author:

Find out more about how to Catch Cheating Spouse with the help of the best Private Investigators at the most affordable rates!

How To Reunite With Your Ex: Relationship Breakup Advice

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 07:06:47 +0100

After the end of most relationships, there is usually at least one person who regrets the breakup and wishes for reconciliation. Because of this, there are just as many looking for reunion advice as there are looking for relationship breakup advice. And, no matter who is asked, there ends up being roughly 8 simple steps to winning your ex back.

It can't be stated enough that harassing or stalking your ex is an absolute NO. It is illegal in many places. It creates emotional blackmail that will eventually lead to your partner resenting you should you two actually get back together.

Step 1 in getting your ex back is to adhere to a strict policy of No Contact. Don't call him or her. Don't send him or her letters. Don't drop by his or her house. The whole point is that your ex can't begin to miss you unless he or she is cut off completely. Naturally, if you work or go to school with your ex, or if have children with him or her, no contact just isn't feasible. In this case, limit the contact to only times that cannot be avoided.

The second step is to stay busy. You want your ex to hear positive things about you while you are away. Your ex will believe that the breakup was the right choice if he or she hears you are moping around and being depressed. But, he or she will start to see you as the person he or she was attracted to if you are busy and happy.

Step 3 involved personal improvement. This is the point where you make a moral inventory of yourself to determine what personality and emotional issues you have that might have contributed to the breakup. Then, you need to take the time and resources to deal with these problems in constructive ways such as therapy. Personal improvement will lead to an inner peace that will radiate throughout your life. A bare minimum of one month should be given to step 3 before moving onto the next step.

The first contact is the fourth step. This should be done over the telephone and should be kept very brief and should be very casual in mood. The reason for the contact should be non controversial and the topic of your relationships should NEVER be broached or spoken about at all. Be breezy. Be flirty. Make small compliments. Your goal is to be a person with whom a conversation is a pleasant experience.

The fifth step is to engage in future casual conversations. Over time, your ex will begin to feel at ease talking to you. He or she may even start to ask if you miss him or her or if you wonder what happened to the relationship. Remember, remain nonchalant. Make sure he or she knows that you do in fact think about the past but are much more interested in what he or she is thinking about at this moment. Encourage the sharing of feelings. Make sure you LISTEN because it will help you to understand what went wrong in the relationship. And, always remember that the comfort zone should never be violated. If he or she wants to change the subject, then let the subject be changed

The sixth step is to never play the blame game. Also, do not beg for forgiveness. Either of these will make your ex feel you are depressed or are threatening to his or her comfort zone

The seventh rule is to evolve your contact from mere conversations to face to face meetings, and eventually dates. This takes a lot of patience for your ex to feel comfortable enough to meet you for drinks. During these dates your ex may feel relaxed enough to start talking about the failed relationship. When this happens, make sure that you always use 'I statements.' Do not back your ex up against the wall but never allow yourself to be used as a doormat. It is during these beginning dates that you will let your ex know about all of the personal improvements you have made. This will plant the seed in your ex's mind that what were issues in the past will not be issues in the future.

Step 8 is when romance is added back into the equation. This happens gradually as your ex begins to feel more and more comfortable with you. Make sure the romance is non-threatening. It will remind him or her why he or she fell in love with you.

Just be patient. Over time these steps will help you and your partner to build a new and stronger relationship.

Relationship Breakup Repair

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 04:07:39 +0100

If you find that your relationship is breaking up or a relationship breakup has already happened and this is not what you wanted. There are several things that can be done to repair any damage that may have been done by you or them. The bad news is that your relationship was broken, the good news a can be fixed. There are several psychological tactics that most people are not aware of that you can use to get anyone to do anything every time. I will share a few of these here with you.

How They Feel When They Are With you

The most important thing to remember is that how someone feels about you, is determined by how you make them about themselves. Did you ever notice that it is so pleasant to be around a person who is complementary and honestly warm and kind. As opposed to a person that complains about everyone and everything, sucks the life out of you.

Returned Affection

We like those who like us, research has proved that and common sense tells us that to. If you like and respect your target you have to let them know it. Do not assume they are reading between the lines. These are psychological tactics not tricks, they work on everyone every time to repair a relationship breakup.

Rapport

This one is overlooked by most people. But building rapport creates trust, this will build a psychological bridge between the two of you. How you ask? That is real simple. Match their posture and movements, now you do not want to be obvious, but if they make a gesture with there hands, wait for a moment then casually you do the same. Another way is to match there speech, if they speak in a relaxed, slow tone you do the same. We are unconsciously driven to like people who appear as we do.

Always Look Directly Into Their Eyes

Studies have showed that gazing into a person's eyes can actually make them fall in love with you. Now you do not want to scare the person with this one, by sitting and starring at them. But when you are talking to them look directly into there eyes and do the same when you are listening to them. Any relationship breakup can be reversed and any ho hum relationship can be made great.

These are just a couple of the psychological strategies that you can engage to win someone over to your side. If you would like more come and visit us at relationship breakup. Learn how to apply psychological strategies to get them to do whatever you want every time. The best way to repair a relationship is to know what people want.